Missing my sweetheart.

Its hard to believe it has been 11 days since my sweet little Blake was born. It seems like these days are taking forever, but at the same time, it feels like its going fast too. I want to fast forward time to when she is able to come home. To when she is able to be with her family. To when she will be in our arms.

I really miss Blake. It hasn't been easy knowing that we are far away. If I could, I'd be over there to see her every single day. That just isn't possible though. As a mother, you want to be there for your children, and to make everything all better. Its hard for me to know that I'm not physically there, and I can't make this all better. I just have to give it time. I'm a patient person, and I am trying to be patient now. I know that Blake needs to be in the hospital. So she can grow. So she can mature. So she can be ready.

I know that Blake has no idea what is going on. She is small and helpless. Her gestational age would now be 33 weeks and 1 day. Now here she is, a whole 11 days old! Right now, she is going through a little bit of a rough patch. She has contracted an infection, and she is hooked up to a CPAP machine, to help her to remember to take deep breaths. Its hard for me to know that she is having to go through all of this. She is so innocent, and its just not fair. I know it isn't the end of the world. She is doing better. I just wish that she wasn't going through any of this.

Even though Blake came into this world 8 weeks early, I do believe with all of my heart, that she has made incredible strides. In fact, I was never supposed to get pregnant with her in the first place! She is an IUD baby. The very fact that it wasn't a tubal pregnancy is a miracle in itself. She knew that she belonged here, and I believe that. I am trying to remain strong for her. She needs that from me, and I will be strong. She is constantly on my mind. She has stolen my heart. She is such a very special little girl. Blake is so very loved.

Blake, I am missing you, and I cannot wait to see you here again shortly! Your daddy, big sisters, and I love you so very much!